Tonight I had the privilege of putting my child to sleep. If one wants a lesson in patience, parenting offers a masterclass. While I make light of the challenges, I truly cherish every moment with my child. Our inherent biology drives us to procreate, and abstaining can lead to profound feelings of regret. If you can’t have kids for biological reasons adoption is always on option. As I cradled my daughter to sleep, an overwhelming realization struck me: I would not trade this moment for anything in the world.
It’s challenging to describe the emotions that surged within me — a blend of purpose, joy, and what some might describe as a divine connection. This child means everything to me. While I consider myself a peaceful person I would do some violent things if someone tried to harm my child.
I reflect on this to gain perspective. I am dedicated to my personal and professional growth, refining my coding and writing abilities, and possibly pursuing a career in financial advising. Yet, these ambitions will always be secondary to my family’s well-being.
Today’s society places immense value on personal freedom and individualism. While these are monumental advances, they also present challenges to the traditional family unit. Striking a balance between personal goals and maintaining familial bonds has become a nuanced task in the modern world.
This evening’s moment with my daughter served as a poignant reminder of what truly matters. I cherish being back in my hometown, close to my parents. While Boston holds fond memories, it’s not where my heart belongs.
I hope that as Sloan grows, she desires to spend time with both Paige and me. There’s a staggering statistic suggesting that by the time a child turns 18 and moves out, parents would have already spent 90% of the total time they’ll ever spend with them. While I’ll instill in Sloan the confidence to chase her dreams, my hope is that she’ll choose to stay close.
Contemplating these feelings has led me to ponder the concept of free will, a subject often discussed in theological circles. Just as a loving parent respects their child’s choices, I believe a higher power grants humanity the same autonomy. To me, the absence of free will seems bleak and reductionist. I choose to write daily, exercising my free will. If this world is merely a simulation and I’m but an NPC in it, I take solace in living true to my beliefs and choices.
So yea this started about patience and ended on free will. Letting my thoughts out everyday is amazing. Reflect more anon I do believe you will find value and insights from your own life if you do so.
10/25/23
Conor Jay Chepenik
