It’s so crazy that armies are just tweeting out what they’re doing. In our era of instant communication, even warfare has become a subject of real-time updates and social media engagement. Like imagine during World War II if Churchill was just tweeting about D-day. Humor me, if you will, so I can present the second World War if it involved the added layer of social media:
- Churchill: Just had a spot of tea, now off to liberate Europe. #Dday #BeachesHereWeCome
- Roosevelt: Fireside chat’s over, time to send some boys across the pond. #LendLease #SavingPrivateRyan
- Hitler: Planning something big for the summer. Stay tuned! #Blitzkrieg2.0 #NoRetreat
- Stalin: Comrades, we push west today. Also, does anyone know how to block @Hitler? #RedWave
- Mussolini: Feeling cute, might invade Ethiopia later, idk. #RomanReboot
And of course, the commentary from the peanut gallery:
- @RandomSoldier1944: Stormed a beach today. Lost my shoe. 1/10 would not recommend. #WarLife
- @UndergroundResist: Overheard in Berlin: ‘Mein WiFi ist down, can’t upload our counterattack. #FuhrerProblems’
But let’s step out of the humor for a moment to consider the sheer madness of it all. Here we are, in an age where military operations are announced with the casualness of a brunch post. It’s as if the gravity of war has been reduced to likes, retweets, and viral content.
- @GeneralPatton: Pushing through France like it’s a Black Friday sale. #TankYouVeryMuch
Yet, beneath the dark comedy of these fictional posts lies a profound truth: war, in its essence, is a racket. It’s an orchestrated chaos where the winners are often those selling the tickets to the show. For the average citizen, the reality isn’t hashtags and updates; it’s loss, fear, and destruction.
“War is a racket,” as Major General Smedley Butler once said, and it’s true. Here we are, laughing at the absurdity of war on social media, but forget not the collateral damage, the lives uprooted, the futures stolen.
While the idea of historical figures tweeting war updates can give many of us a chuckle, it masks the somber reality that for many, war is not a series of posts but a life-altering tragedy. Perhaps our advances in communication and our ability to connect globally can lead us towards greater understanding and away from armed conflicts.
In documenting these dark times with humor, we find a coping mechanism for the terrifying reality of war. Yet, our ultimate hope should be for peace, for a reduction in human casualties, especially among civilians, and for an end to the cycle of violence that has plagued human history.
May our tweets one day announce peace treaties instead of battle plans, and may our global connectivity bring us closer to a world where war exists only in history books, video games, and satirical social media posts.
I remain hopeful this can one day be the reality for humanity. If we channel our technological prowess towards creating abundance, the very allure of conflict could wane, significantly diminishing the frequency and ferocity of wars. Here’s to harnessing our collective ingenuity for peace, prosperity, and a laugh or two along the way.
9/30/24
Conor Jay Chepenik
